here, but hiding.

hi, adison here. remember me? i’ve been here, but hiding.

these recent life changes hit me like a ton of bricks. literally any and all emotions you could think of, i’ve felt – sad, lonely, confused, pissed, abandoned… the list could certainly go on. i was talking to a friend about these said emotions early on and he told me to “write about it”. so i’ve been writing, post after post and saving them as drafts because i’ve been feeling too vulnerable to share those publicly. so, 27 drafts later, i think i’m ready to share one of my most recent drafts.-

-change comes in many shapes and sizes. it can be as little as changing nail polish from red to pink, or as big as a life altering break up, divorce or death of a loved one.

i didn’t understand the change and, stupidly, i was expecting time to freeze. some days, it felt frozen, and i would dwell on this or that and what could’ve gone differently and other days i watched time fly by surprised that i had made it through the day so quickly.

 i’ve found that in order to deal with the change you have to be able to look back on what once was, how to appreciate it for the beauty and amazing-ness while also, understanding that life will go on without you if you don’t keep up.

unfortunately, no two stories are the same and there isn’t a “how to deal with change” book for each and every scenario. [although it would make things much easier to have a bulleted “to-do” list when it comes to moving on…] so until that happens, we have to roll with the punches and struggle through it. one of the biggest lessons i learned is that you don’t have to struggle through it alone. it’s okay to be vulnerable. it’s okay to ask for help. it’s okay to “not feel like talking” one day and to open up and never stop talking the next day. people who have your back will literally drop everything just to listen to you, or sit there in silence with you, or go get drunk with you. [yes, that may have happened once or twice…] those are the people you want to be friends with. those are the people i aspire to be. i seriously got by “with a little help from my friends“. or a lot of help.

your friends are your friends for a reason – don’t be afraid to ask for help. they’ll be there for you. ❤


and at the end of the day, pull some motivation from the queen herself – elizabeth taylor. fullsizeoutput_168b.jpeg

 

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christmas celebrations

now that my computer has officially dried out and turned back on (in case you didn’t see the latest instagram post, i spilled coffee all over my computer christmas eve and it’s been drying ever since) i’m back! keep your fingers crossed that it continues to work…. PLEASE!


we spent this past weekend celebrating christmas and spending some serious quality time with friends and family. my parents flew in on friday and we haven’t stopped eating/drinking/galavanting around the town since. here is a small glimpse into the past couple of days…

first stop we made was one of my mom’s all time favorite restaurants, tiny thai, a small local favorite that’s BYOB it’s a seriously  hard to beat. and their takeout is a good as the dine in – which certainly isn’t always the case!

after dinner we headed back to my house to begin our christmas eve tradition – the annual book swap.

growing up, we were always allowed to open one gift on christmas eve and 9 times out of 10, it was ususally pajamas. now that we’ve grown up a bit [who am i kidding, we haven’t grown up] we’ve tailored our tradition a bit.

a couple weeks before the holiday we draw names and pick who we buy a book for; it can be hard cover, paper back, an audiobook, e-book, or even a magazine subscription. we’ve only been doing it a couple of years but it’s one of my favorite parts of christmas.


the next morning we did the full christmas thing – stockings, coffee, mimosas, more coffee, cinnamon rolls, and gifts. fullsizeoutput_10f5

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pajamas and mimosas 

we relaxed most of the morning, went for a long walk, and prepared for some dinner guests that evening. tiffany definitely takes the cake for her cheese board skills. fullsizeoutput_1146


i had to work christmas day but luckily i was able to escape at 3:30 and head home for another night of dinner guests, drinks, and laughs.

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spreading merry around the hospital

after plenty of cocktails and far too much food we busted out the game of things. it was the first time i played it and it was hysterical. keep the wine flowing and you’ll certainly have a blast. img_3233

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this was the best we could do….

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yesterday we worked out, made a couple of returns and went to manchester by the sea. it was amazing. be sure to bring some tissues and show up earlier anticipated – the ENTIRE theater was full.

it was a fabulous weekend spent with amazing people and 2017 is creeping around the corner, can’t wait to see what the future holds – cheers!

wednesday wears

this evening i met some co-workers for an afternoon of christmas shopping and dinner out a leunig’s. i knew i wanted to wear something cute, but comfortable and most importantly warm – the wind was frigid on church street!

this is what i decided to wear:

gap jeans // these are [embarrassingly] from my high school days – and i have ZERO idea how i still fit into them. the holes have gotten progressively bigger and soon, i dread, it’ll be time to get rid of them all together…

jcrew sweater // again, i buy a lot of my sweaters one or two sizes larger because the comfort level is to die for!

white and warren cashmere scarf // one of the first christmas gifts i ever received from ian – it’s one of my all time favorite pieces – second to my travel wrap he got me the next year 😀

jcrew jacket // i asked santa for this wool coat a couple of years ago and today it’s still one of my favorite. it’s surprisingly extra warm and can easily dress up an outfit.

bonus! the jacket is on sale right now with code: HOLIDAY 

dolce vita booties // i found these babies at nordstrom rack in san francisco when i was visiting my older sisters. needless to say, i’ve treked across san fran and burlington in them and they have definitely gotten better with age.

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tomorrow into friday are supposed to be record lows for the year – wish me luck. i plan on not leaving my house. perhaps some christmas cookie baking and wrapping of presents…?

how do you stay warm during the holidays??

above the clouds

happy tuesday!

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it sure was happy for me as i got to spend it here. as a nurse my schedule is a two week repeating cycle and it varies with having to work every other weekend. i am lucky enough to have every tuesday and every friday off. during the summer i like to hit the beach and spend the day in the sun. during the winter, i like to spend my day on the mountain. ideally with a 60 minute massage afterwards.

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today was seriously one of the ultimate best ski days i’ve had in vermont. that’s saying something seeing as that it’s december 6th, and only my second day out this year. the weather was phenomenal in the morning when we got there. it was low 30s and was super foggy near the top of the mountain but about 2/3s up, the fog broke and the sun was shining. we spent the day above the clouds and it was one for the books.

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as the day went on, the clouds broke and the sun disappeared. we chased the pockets of powder all morning and we were finding fresh tracks up until the minute we left.

after we warmed up, we made our routine stop at piecasso in town. couple of slices and some beers later and we were back on the road headed towards burlington.

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i never wanted the day to end.

life lately in photo

hiiii everyone, i’ve missed you all. it’s been a bit since i’ve been here, and for that, i apologize. but, what better time than the present to jump right back into the swing of things?!

things in my life have been quite busy recently – been picking up some extra shifts at the hospital, helping plan a bridal shower, and trying to enjoy the last few bits of summer and sunshine before it’s gone! here are a few snippets into the last weeks….


some girlfriends and i were FINALLY able to get together after what had been far too long. summer travel, what feels like an endless wedding season and working every other weekend limits what free time you have to see friends!

we started our night at the bar juniper which is located in hotel vermont. after a couple drinks, we headed next door to hen of the wood.

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L –> R : me, kathryn, sara, hannah, hillary

summer in burlington isn’t complete without hitting up the champlain valley fair in essex. we devoured corn dogs, fried dough, and the best corn on the cob. we attempted to stomach some rides after inhaling all the food with little success. lots of people watching, a random game or two, and some dancing in the beer tent (only because tiffany makes me) to round out the night.img_2597


as a kid growing up in colorado, labor day signaled the end of summer – school has started and all the neighborhood pools close. in vermont, we have access to some of the best lakes, ponds and streams around – and lucky for us, they never close. this labor day, ian, and i hiked up to sterling pond. it was hot, humid and steep. the shaded trail along with the cold pond at the top made it a lovely hike.

a bit about sterling pond….

the trailhead is at the top of the notch road – aka 108 – in vermont. it’s closed from november to may due to the extreme winter conditions and the limited access to help bail cars out. we drove up through cambridge and through smuggler’s notch to the top and  drove out past the stowe mountain resort through the town of stowe. it’s a great hike for families but keep in mind it’s especially wet and can be slick – and we even hiked on a dry day! although it’s steep, it was quick. we were done in 90 minutes and that’s even with swim at the top! a must do if you’re in the area and have an afternoon free!

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back in burlington and after a quick shower, we dined at the kitchen table in richmond which just so happens to be one of my all time favorite restaurants. it’s a quick 15 minute drive south on i-89, located right next to the Cat business. it’s an amazing restaurant with the best food – sourced from the best local ingredients. it’s one of those restaurants where you can’t not have room for dessert.


the other night we packed up some take out, grabbed some booze and biked down to oakledge where we watched the last of the sun set and spent some time outside before the weather changes too much.

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the past couple of days have been extra sunny so i’ve been soaking up as much as possible. a few days with a co-worker and a couple at the delta for some kiteboardng

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 i promise to come back later this week to show you all a new pair of booties i’m obsessed with. stay tuned….

osheaga got me like

for those of you who don’t know about osheaga already… well now you do, and you’re welcome. but seriously, osheaga is one of the highlights of my summer. it’s a huge music festival in montreal (a mere 90 minutes from burlington, pending  border traffic…) and the 3 day festival has a wide variety of bands and artists playing on 6 different stages during the day and into the evenings. this years dates fell over last weekend and we spent our days chasing our favorite artists around the park.

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there were 9 people in total from our whole group. due to being total procrastinators we couldn’t find any last minute airbnb housing so we had to split into groups and find some hotel rooms. luckily, we were all able to stay at the same hotel. we found rooms at hotel 10 in the entertainment district of the city. it was a close 4 blocks to the nearest metro, about 6 from st catherine street, and there were hidden restaurant gems within walking distance in every direction.


we left burlington around 12:30 on friday. after a wait at the border and major traffic due to construction coming into montreal we finally arrived almost 4 hours later. a quick freshen up, some food and drinks and we were en route to the park. the two shows we couldn’t miss: the lumineers and flume.

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L–>R: brian, tiffany, annette, jess, me, jordan

danced the night away with some lovely people. we proceeded back to the hotel where we giggled into the wee hours of the night.

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saturday came and we started our day with brunch. put on our best festival clothes and, you guessed it, back to the park we went.


finding clothes that were comfortable, cool (temperature wise) and stylish can be quite difficult. it was HOT. and i mean HOT. the sun was blazing, the dust was kickin’, and there wasn’t a ton of shade to be had. we tried to keep cool with lots of beer/cold vodka, popsicles/ice cream, and dancing. the hat i wore day 2 was a game changer. looking back, i regret only wearing it one day….

dress from stella // hat from ? // vans sneakers // ray ban sunnies // oryany backpack


the barr brothers, bastille and haim were the top hits for saturday.

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we opted out of the last few bands for a dinner at [easily one of my top  favorite restaurants], dolcetto & co.


sunday funday rolled round and we started our morning with brunch at a local joint. it was amazing. i ordered the house bloody mary with the pancakes and pulled pork – holy moly. it was one of the best breakfasts i’ve had. it was SO good and the best part about the entire thing was that there was no wait for food!! BOOM! it honestly was one of those places we just stumbled upon and it was a rare treat.

back to the park we went for an afternoon of: leon bridges, rufus du sol, foy vance, m83. unfortunately, we had to head back to burlington seeing as that everyone had to work bright and early monday morning. overall, it was a great weekend with amazing friends, delicious food, and groovy music – can’t wait for next year!

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gay island \\ cushing, ME

this weekend was one for the record books. it was one of the best weekends i’ve had in quite some time. lots of friends, fun and sun in a little place called gay island. the island is right off of the small town, cushing, which is 90 minutes north of portland. my boyfriend’s family owns a house on the island and i’ve been lucky enough to partake in the festivities.


we rounded up our friends and hopped in the car thursday afternoon. cushing is about 6 hours from burlington and the island can [quite honestly] be a pain in the ass to get to at night. we decided to drive to portland, enjoy some amazing dinner at duckfat, crash for the night and finish the journey the following morning.

friday rolled around and we hit the road. honestly, the last part of the drive is my favorite – yea, i’m sure it doesn’t help that the end destination is beautiful and who doesn’t love vacation- but the drive is also the most scenic and the back roads of maine are drop.dead.gorgeous.


we loaded up the boat and full steam ahead to gay island. we couldn’t have been luckier when it came to the weather – 80s and sunny throughout the whole weekend. IMG_2362

the house on the island is quite simple, and quite amazing; no plumbing, no built in electricity, no wifi, no television. once you get to the house it’s easy to ‘unplug’ and really spend some time and appreciate your surroundings. the house sleeps up to 10 but just be sure not to invite people you can’t stand; it can feel small when you’re sitting at the kitchen table and you actually have to make conversation. 😀


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 when we got there we decided to take the ‘newbies’ exploring around the island. there are some loose woods behind the house, and lucky for us, no cars.

it might be an old wives tale in the andrew’s household, but i’ve heard there is a rogue camel on the island… i’ve yet to see said camel during any of my trips. 😀

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friday night hit and we watched the most intense lightening storm from the porch. each strike of lightening was better than the previous lighting up the entire sky. it was INSANE. after that we had an epic battle of monopoly and hit the hay dreaming of camels.

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took about 1000 burst photos and got about 2….

saturday was spent fishing from the dock, attempting to dig clams on the beach at low tide, and cruising over to port clyde for some oysters and cocktails.

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the biggest oysters! 

after loading up on ice, cold beer and fresh lobsters,  we MAY have hit a bit of rain on the way back to the island. just so happens that it was the only rain we saw all day – figures

the rest of the day was spent in a plethora of ways: lounging, reading in the sun, fishing, shell hunting, napping, you name it. after a delicious meal of fresh seafood the boys stepped up and did the dishes. it was too good to not capture.

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sunday, reality sunk in as we had to head back to vermont. luckily none of us had to get back for anything in particular so we weren’t in a rush. plenty of breakfast, coffee, sunning, fishing, and more coffee was had. jumped off the dock a few times and we called it a wrap. cleaned up, loaded our gear back onto the boat and caravanned back to the 802.

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i must’ve drawn the short straw…. or something? let’s just call it a moment of weakness… i rode in the dingy all the way back to the main land. comical.

clearly, it was one of the best weekends i’ve had in a while. thank you to everyone who was able to make it happen and i can’t wait until next time!

goodbye for now, gay island!