life in the fast lane

well hello again.


it’s been a little over 4 months since i’ve been here. over the course of those 4 months i’ve had a lot of time to self reflect – to focus on me and my physical, mental, and emotional well being. and, shit, it got real. i stripped down all these barriers [that i never knew i had] until i felt defenseless, vulnerable and naked. it wasn’t fun, nor easy. i’m not finished and, realistically, won’t ever be – self reflection and care is an ever evolving process that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

BUT let’s be real, it’s much easier to avoid those nagging little voices and jitters that can easily consume your entire day than face them head on. it’s easier to sweep things under the rug and forget about them. but when there’s no space under the rug, those forgotten “things” magically appear again while trying to hide the new things and it SUCKS. it can be a vicious cycle. it can consume your body, mind and entire being.


i’ve learned that during those times where you can’t quite get a freaking grip, you can rely on your people. find your people and stick to them like glue.

they’ll be there for you when it’s literally the most inconvenient time for them. if you want them to shut up and listen, they’ll do it. if you want them to give you advice, they’ll do it. and if you want to go to the bar and get drunk, they’ll do that too. 


THANK YOU to my people. these past couple of months i’ve learned that life isn’t always that much better in the fast lane. and i wouldn’t have learned that without them.

xofullsizeoutput_21de

three worthy things

another sunday come and gone already?! it was a beautiful weekend here in burlington, mother nature really came in big.


currently obsessing over this candle that i found in hudson last weekend. i have been looking for a candle that has a masculine scent without being overwhelming/overpowering, is relatively slow burning but also has the ability to scent up the entire room and it just can’t come in a super ugly jar. i’m happy to say i have finally found the one. some of the other candles i have been looking at just haven’t quite fit the bill. oh and did i mention that you’ll actually have some bills in your pocket even after buying this one??


now that i’m working full time nights i’ve had some more down time during the days and have been spending lots of time reading. i have always been the “omg i love books, and i couldn’t think of ever giving up a book for a device” reader but there’s something to be said about a kindle – trust me – you can easily pack hundreds of books for your vacation, it’s super light, you can read it in full sun [which you can’t off an ipad], and if you’re an amazon prime member you get free books! regardless, i couldn’t put the damn thing down when i was reading this book. and i promise, it’s much more light hearted than it appears on first glance. and thanks to this post from cup of jo, i’ll have all sorts of good suggestions to bring to the next book club! anyone reading something that you recommend?


it’s almost a sin to call fall in vermont complete without a combination of hiking, leaf peeping and/or apple picking. please try and find one person who hasn’t done any of those things this fall. and most everyone will try to get all three activities done in one day! anyways, i jumped on the band wagon and spent sunday afternoon in bolton going on this little hike. rounding out the afternoon with some beers at a waterbury brewery was EXACTLY what the doctor ordered. and i fell in love with this beer. fullsizeoutput_1973.jpeg


happy monday!

here, but hiding.

hi, adison here. remember me? i’ve been here, but hiding.

these recent life changes hit me like a ton of bricks. literally any and all emotions you could think of, i’ve felt – sad, lonely, confused, pissed, abandoned… the list could certainly go on. i was talking to a friend about these said emotions early on and he told me to “write about it”. so i’ve been writing, post after post and saving them as drafts because i’ve been feeling too vulnerable to share those publicly. so, 27 drafts later, i think i’m ready to share one of my most recent drafts.-

-change comes in many shapes and sizes. it can be as little as changing nail polish from red to pink, or as big as a life altering break up, divorce or death of a loved one.

i didn’t understand the change and, stupidly, i was expecting time to freeze. some days, it felt frozen, and i would dwell on this or that and what could’ve gone differently and other days i watched time fly by surprised that i had made it through the day so quickly.

 i’ve found that in order to deal with the change you have to be able to look back on what once was, how to appreciate it for the beauty and amazing-ness while also, understanding that life will go on without you if you don’t keep up.

unfortunately, no two stories are the same and there isn’t a “how to deal with change” book for each and every scenario. [although it would make things much easier to have a bulleted “to-do” list when it comes to moving on…] so until that happens, we have to roll with the punches and struggle through it. one of the biggest lessons i learned is that you don’t have to struggle through it alone. it’s okay to be vulnerable. it’s okay to ask for help. it’s okay to “not feel like talking” one day and to open up and never stop talking the next day. people who have your back will literally drop everything just to listen to you, or sit there in silence with you, or go get drunk with you. [yes, that may have happened once or twice…] those are the people you want to be friends with. those are the people i aspire to be. i seriously got by “with a little help from my friends“. or a lot of help.

your friends are your friends for a reason – don’t be afraid to ask for help. they’ll be there for you. ❤


and at the end of the day, pull some motivation from the queen herself – elizabeth taylor. fullsizeoutput_168b.jpeg

 

adversity training

during my college lacrosse years, my coach would always make us do something [usually terrible like sprints after a scrimmage or game] and tell us it was just “adversity training”. i will be the first to say that those moments certainly made me physically and mentally tougher. i’ve, unfortunately, hit a point in my life where i need to look back on those moments and pull all the toughness out and put it to use.  yet there’s no amount of training that will get you though a break up – especially one that you never saw coming. the point of this post isn’t to complain and wallow in my sorrows – it’s to highlight how amazing my friends and family have been this past week. between helping move out of my house in 24 hours notice, to letting me crash in their spare bedrooms or couches, to just being there to listen to me bitch, i couldn’t have gotten though it without them. ❤


moving forward i’ve created a list of a few things to make the most of this life i have here in burlington:

try something new every week. ie: a new recipe, new cocktail, new bar, new place to eat, new place to work out… i’m excited for this because it’s something to keep me mentally engaged and looking forward to the new item of the week.

send more snail mail. who doesn’t love getting a card in their mail box “just because”? i can say that nothing turns your day around like a “just thinking about you” card from a friend.

be confident in living/doing thing/being by myself. all through college i had roommates, i had roommates after college, and then i had a boyfriend for a roommate. i’ve never lived by myself. finding a one bedroom apartment within a weeks time was something i didn’t think was possible but somehow it worked out and i’m moving into my own apartment this friday. needless to say, i’m excited and terrified. it will certainly be something to get used to, but i’m up for the challenge. i’ll be sure to post some pics of the new digs.


cheers to the future. thanks for everyone who’s had my back – you know who you are. XO. especially this chic.IMG_0769.JPG