well hello again.
it’s been a little over 4 months since i’ve been here. over the course of those 4 months i’ve had a lot of time to self reflect – to focus on me and my physical, mental, and emotional well being. and, shit, it got real. i stripped down all these barriers [that i never knew i had] until i felt defenseless, vulnerable and naked. it wasn’t fun, nor easy. i’m not finished and, realistically, won’t ever be – self reflection and care is an ever evolving process that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
BUT let’s be real, it’s much easier to avoid those nagging little voices and jitters that can easily consume your entire day than face them head on. it’s easier to sweep things under the rug and forget about them. but when there’s no space under the rug, those forgotten “things” magically appear again while trying to hide the new things and it SUCKS. it can be a vicious cycle. it can consume your body, mind and entire being.
i’ve learned that during those times where you can’t quite get a freaking grip, you can rely on your people. find your people and stick to them like glue.
they’ll be there for you when it’s literally the most inconvenient time for them. if you want them to shut up and listen, they’ll do it. if you want them to give you advice, they’ll do it. and if you want to go to the bar and get drunk, they’ll do that too.
THANK YOU to my people. these past couple of months i’ve learned that life isn’t always that much better in the fast lane. and i wouldn’t have learned that without them.